Happy thoughts to make a fairy fly

Happy thought!!! I found my marbles :) This is to show mommy lady my cute little solar fountain. Its not the most stunning piece of art ever seen, but at night it lights up and it goes splish splash and makes me smile:) And its made from an old brass table bought many moons ago, which the legs fell off, the cage our fire came in, a bowl I found and lots and lots of marbles! 
Well, I made scotch eggs...

99p sausages!! They are fine when disguised in a scotch egg! I don't even wanna know what the lumpy bits are, we'll just presume they are pigish:)

Seven eggies...

The production line...flour, beaten egg and breadcrumbs and a plate...

Yum!! The last sausage and a half became what DS calls 'scotches' as they have no egg in them. So...thats little deep fried sausage balls to you and me! So, 99p sausages, 9 eggs is 81p. Some breadcrumbs and fat...heck its gotta be under £2 for the seven :) And thats tonights tea with wedges and tomorrows lunch :D (as DS is on school holiday he eats alot more than usual!)

As it was shooping day we got some mince...snuck in alot of veg and hey presto a humungous saucepan of bolognaise sauce. Which DS and OH will be glad to hear means its easier and more likely that I will make lasagne or canelloni, or their new favourite, delias bolognaise bake! I think, but I'm not sure...thats a five litre saucepan!! Anyway, all bagged up and in the freezer :) yay!

And once again we have some grease to clarify when it sets. Yummy! I don't mind that its a tadge greasy. It's cheap mince and its not like I waste the fat. 

These are the potatoes I keep talking to everyday. Hurry up and grow i keep telling them! They now have flower buds on them...soon i shall have nummy new potatoes. And the load we planted a few weeks back?

They're growing!! 
happy thoughts...i am having happy thoughts:D

The fairy is lost, not missing

The fairy is lost. 
I'm sorry I've been hiding the last week, I can't help it. 
Friday morning, 8.15 am while I was walking the dog.
Over the weekend, driving past repeatedly.
Monday, with the goldigga, just walked straight in, going on about dad. 
Yesterday, driving past repeatedly.
Today, teabreak, for 45 mins, walked in and sat down, started talking about dad. Then wandered around the sheds poking in things. Then pestered OH about taking a tractor to a rally this weekend.
And he keeps going on about dad. On and on. I loved my dad, you all know he was my hero.  
Monday night I couldn't sleep for crying. He made me cry again today. 
Your fairy is a bit broken right now. 
But anyway, going through the motions..

 Nice blankie..

 Haybox cookery, fenstyle. Yes, a big tesco bag and alot of old blankies. Its all the things I found in the freezer that may have been meat once upon a time...lost labels and freezer burn. Added rice and hey presto catfood! Cats were overjoyed :)

Tried being busy...grate polish!

And it looked lovely when I'd done! Nope, still not right.

 Grateo potateo..

 smmosheo potateo..

Curried potato fritters? And why not.

Mango chutney and some found freezer pork. Yummy but not my happy thought.

 You little beauty..

Mini pizza scones (yes we ran out of bread as usual!) Nice but not a joy.

 gonad apples..

 oaty..

The apples that DS had in his lunch box but were described as 'as wrinkly as an old mans b@lls'!! Turned into oaty apple slice! Sent jones the steam home with some for his supper. (As it was his recipe suggestion)

Eight eggies ready to turn into scotch eggs. Ang on, theres seven! Ah, DS had an eggy sandwich!

And I even bought myself 3 metres of pretty fabric (I have something I wanna make) and its still sitting in the bag. 
As Garfield said sometime in the eighties...' I'm down...dooby doo down down...comma comma down dooby doo down down':)
And tomorrow we go pick up....7000 celeriac plants! All of which have to be planted, BY HAND!
BBS x I'll have to keep hunting for my happy thought or I may never fly again.

 

Errr..bye bye budget

I think I may have blown the budget...even without the sugar mountain! I spent £35.62 in Aldi! So I'm at £107.99 OOps! 
I think its because I finally got round to clearing out the freezer which left it looking empty. I do hate an empty freezer, its inefficient. 
And I think another part of it was I was starting to feel deprived. I know I'm not deprived..no one with this much sugar in the house could possibly feel deprived:) 
And food shopping cheers me up too. I dislike shopping for clothes...but good basic foodstuffs and I'm a merry fairy!And I'me even more merry when I've made chocolate fudge brownies..

Still too hot to cut sadly, breakfast you think?
Tea was Delias bolognaise bake using my penultimate bolognaise sauce from the freezer..

Top with a simple white sauce..

Yum...nerver managed to take a picture after cooking...I was hungry!

My little pumpkins are growing...they might be squash, I may have forgotten to label them!

Some of the older seed hasn't germinated very well:( But hey ho and on we go. 
Little fairy is feeling a little down. (and yes, I know whats getting me down, and I know I have to talk to him, and I think I know what to say now)
I need to find something that will make me happy. 
DS was offered an aprenticeship in musicy things tonight. He is overjoyed. :) 
And this weekend is DS's time with his dad :D so if I go missing you know where you can find me...wink wink ;-)
BBS x

We're canning

Ah the first proper canning of the season!..Are we ready.

All ready!

Hubble bubble...

Lovely...OH said it looked like wee!!! But he also admitted it tasted lovely!

Especially with a lemon balm leaf!!

4 jars ready for the shelves tomorow:)

Fred turned up at 8.30 this morning. Sat outside in his tractor revving for 5 minutes then got out. I hadn't even had my breakfast or walked the dog as I'd decided to defrost the fridge. OH told him we were just off to do the shopping, so I finished the fridge and off we went. Without my breakfast! And without my morning doggy walk. Grrr! I spent the rest of the day nursing a lovely tension headache and listening for him coming back again!

I am a happy fairy!! 

BBS x 

Peace and closed doors in fairyland

Peace. All day I listened for tractors then OH pointed out his tractor brakes were jammed and he shouldn't have driven it anywhere yesterday so we asumed Fred was getting a service...one he had to pay for!
So..I hid in the potato shed for the first part of the day. Least I got alot of work done. :) And I closed the door from the inside...just in case. I know I can't hide forever, I'm trying to figure what I need to say to him in my mind.
Anyway...

Yo yo...its my hoe!! :D I have had this since I was a teenager and its still on the first blade (OI..don't say i haven't done enough work!!), I have a spare blade for it... I like things oldschool.
And this was me, ready to go hoeing..

Hahhhaa! Notice the smashing headgear? I always wear a headscarf when its hot...but they get all dirty and sweaty..ick! Then they have to be washed. And I have 2. So I thought maybe I could upcycle an old shirt that had pretty fabric..

Aha! New headscarf! But wait, there were still bits of shirt left after I'd removed the buttons (GGG's fault!)

So, headscarf, cleaning cloths and triangles...

Add some green triangles...and some ribbon..

OOh very 'good life' :D I have many saved shirts that are quite worn...I may be doing some more sewing!
 When walking the dog I noticed the elder were in flower...so...I bought lemons...

MMM I love the smell of elderflowers..

Pretty! And good for cataargh..no thats not how you spell it! Oh well, snot!

Heavy syrup...it must be havey syrup it had 3 1/2lb of my sugar stash in there!

And steep. This is happily sitting overnight on the counter, smelling lovely, and tomorrow it will be canned...and maybe drunk!
Tea was pie...and mash...I furtled in the potato rows but the new ones aren't ready yet!

Uncooked...

Pie!!! I used my clarified beef fat in the pastry and it was beefy, yum! even Jones the steam loved it, and no one noticed the lentils, tvp or oats...let alone the mountain of veg :D
I shall go lie in the bath in a bit and soak the achy bits...and hopefully the large piece of pie won't weigh me down too much! It was alot of pie:)
I like pie!!!
BBS x

A Fairies Dilemma..

A dilemma.
Now, for years my dad was friends with 'Fred' (not his real name)and his family. I've known him since I was a little girl. Until Fred got a girlfriend aged 65 him and dad spent alot of time togther. He would come see dad every day and twice a day at the weekends, bringing his girlfriend too. (and I know, at 65 girlfriend isn't the right term but hey ho).
Two years ago he had his driving licence suspended when he went a bit mad due to an infection. Keep in mind he drives not a car but a very big tractor on the road (and not just on the backroads).
When he was ill, me and OH, his friends and his nextdoor neighbours ran around getting things for him, visiting him in hospital daily, calling doctors and ambulances, running him around places. Even my dad, who was getting ill had to do some driving for him.
When he came out of hospital and was better he said " I wouldn't have come through that if it wasn't for my girlfriend". She had visited him once in hospital, for half an hour. That was what she did.
So, some of his friends got angry at that and refused to see him anymore. As they felt all they'd done wasn't appreciated at all.
Dad got worse. He was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We told Fred and thought he'd walk down to see dad but what he did was phone dad at all times of the day and night until dad wouldn't answer the phone. (I should add that Fred is deaf as a post and refused to wear the hearing aid he was given). He'd often wake dad up early phoning him repeatedly because he was playing with his phone.
Keep in mind dad knew he was dying. So we offered to take dad to Fred and he refused. 'He'll just want something and if he can't be bothered to come see me...'
When dad passed away, Freds wonderful girlfriend and the great family of hers refused to take Fred to the funeral, even though they had known dad since they were teenagers. So we had to find him a lift to the crematorium. No one wanted to take him, as they all thought the girlfriend would suddenly want to go too. But we got him there.
That was just over a year ago. No one thought Fred would be allowed to drive again, though he pestered everyone to call the dvla for him. He thought his vision was perfect, he thought there was nothing wrong with him. Yet the doctors still kept saying he wasn't safe to drive. And when he finally got his eyes tested as the dvla insisted he had to, he needed glasses.
So, friday he was allowed to drive again. He has to wear glasses and his hearing aid. Has to.
He turned up with a carload of her family and collected his tractor that has been stored here the last two years. During the visit from the busload.
Then he turned up saturday morning at nine when we were getting ready to go see DD. I heard his tracor coming down the road and I nearly had a meltdown. 'I didn't wake you up did I?' he asked OH. He then preceeded to ride round the farm on his great big tractor. All our tractors are small. They don't leave huge ruts in the ground or chew up OH's neatly cut grass. And they don't run over crops either.
We put a chain across the yard. The last time we had to do that was when Fred went mad and was turning up at five in the morning and riding about hooting his horn.
This morning, monday, we were working and he turned up at quarter to ten, just before tea break. I saw him as I was walking back from the field so I went to talk to the dog! He had to walk into the yard as he couldn't just drive in.
He found OH and followed him about, came and sat himself down in our home. Then followed OH into dads home (which we are slowly clearing) and had a rootle about looking for a phone number. In my dads home, which is now mine. He was here an hour and a half, just following OH around asking him to do things.
This is OUR home. Dad's home (and its only a twin caravan) is mine.
WE are doing the farming. This is OUR place of work.
Dad has been dead more than a year.
Although he is everywhere he is gone.
How do you tell someone that it is NOT ok to come every day and stop you working for over an hour while you find him things or do things or just talk (as he still can't hear and you have to stop what you're doing and face him for him to hear you).
How do you tell someone that the weekends are your own. That sometimes grown ups like to go to bed when they're not sleepy and have some grown up time when theres no kids about and its NOT ok to just walk into someones home?
How do you tell someone that you agree with all his friends and neighbours that his girlfriend is not indeed wonderful, that the sun does not shine out of her posterior and that she is a goldgigger. (Fred was left over £30,000 by his brother, like to guess how much is left? I'm not being mean, his brother wouldn't even have her in the house! He wouldn't tell dad as he knew what he'd say but he told me he gives her money every week to go shopping, has bought her tv's, her family watches, washing machine, heating oil, and they don't even live together as she refuses to) And you definitely do not want to see her three times a week when he sees her?
How do you tell someone that it is not ok to go help yourself to as much vegetables as you can cram in your tractor to give to your friends?
Today he wanted OH to fix his brakes. OH is not a tractor mechanic. He would have expected it done for nothing. OH sent him next door to the tractor workshop.
How do you tell someone that life has moved on from two years ago and some things just aren't ok anymore?
I have no comparison in my life. All dads other friends come see me maybe once a month or two. They come and knock on the door. They don't just come in. They don't just ride round the farm.
His absolute best friend (they were best man for each other, lifelong trouble makers) couldn't even bear to drive past let alone be here for a while as dad wasn't here.
I am angry and lost and I don't know what to do.
Fred keeps his best rally tractor here in a shed, his trailer is in another shed. Which was fine when dad was here.
But when the next rally comes around poor OH will be pestered to get his tractor out for him, get his trailer out for him and load it onto the trailer for him. He doesn't need the extra work. Its more than enough to get one tractor to a rally. And it means OH will be angry all rally weekend. Great. I know this will happen. He expected it two years ago when he could last drive. Expected. And it made OH fuming.
And we both have trouble saying anything as he is like a puppy thats been kicked.
I become voiceless in the face of an old man.
I don't know what to do.
I'm normally happy to share what I have, I'm normally welcoming and generous.
But its all just too much.
Every day for goodness sake. Every day.
Any help gladly accepted. :(
 

The Visit

This week we have been busy. Not just me, but OH, DS and Jones the Steam. Hence not being online as much. So here is what we've been up to. We've been tidying and readying for a busload of folks from up north! And they really like tractors. So all the tractors that would start have been started and lined up...and this is what we ended up with..

First we moved the shepherds hut. It has no steering or drawbar and the wheel kept falling off!

Swept out the little one and tidied up the bigger one..

Then made sure the door opened on the living wagon..

And swept that a bit too..

Its so cool! I think we aught to use it as a bed and breakfast! Anyway, time to get tractors out...Ready?

More?

Smiley Kramer :)

Lanz Bulldog.

Little Holder that dad taught DS to drive on:)

Some left in the shed that wouldnt start..

Well, alot of getting ready anyway, and it was worth it. The people came and loved it. One old gent said he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. I talked to everyone and i swear dad was with me in spirit as I remembered things he'd told me! They had a lovely time and I was really happy :D