Seedy

Would you look at all my seeds. And these are just the squash! Lovely mommy lady found me some interesting pumpkins and gourds. I love gourds. And I cannot say that word, even in my head without it sounding like something from the life of Brian  (it is his gourd).
So today it rained, and I'm sure every single weed on the farm shouted yippee and grew 2 inches taller! Then again the self set potatoes have got over the late frost and are 6 inches tall😊 yes, I'm over excited about the prospect of new potatoes,  and about strawberries,  and the currants swelling! My lettuces are filling out as are the Chinese leaves that are left after the bits decided they were really tasty.
My £7 worth of assorted food I bought in aldi is becoming tea this week, along with half a packet of streaky bacon and some frozen chicken thighs left over from when a kitty was ill.
Tonight was vaguely garlic chicken (marinated overnight so no one knew it was thigh not breast) griddled on the...griddle! The end of a bag of crinkle chips I found when tidying the freezer, pitta bread and salad.
There's still enough chicken left for another 2 portions😊 not touched the nice looking ham, peppers or mushrooms! This is me trying to feed the boys more healthily on my extreme budget!
£40 to feed 3 adults, 14 cats and a dog, including all cleaning products and household consumables!  I don't think the boys appreciate how difficult menu planning is when your budget is £3 a day😊
At least the fridge is full as you can see and it's nearly all healthy...well...apart from the coffee cake in the tin at the top. As far as I'm concerned there has to be some pleasures in life and cake is mine😊 (it's a Mary berry recipe!)
BBS x if I can get into the hang of this again!

Long time

May 2017. Eight months since I last posted!  I'm not sure if it's because I hate using the app, if it's too tiny on my tablet or if I just ran out of fairy dust. Perhaps I didn't have enough happy thoughts to make it work!
 Last year the farm was a total write off. The flooding in early summer buggered up every single crop.
We didn't even make the money back on the celeriac plants.
 So we had to sell tractors just to pay the bills!
 In fact I sold tractors, son sold his guitars.
I'm hoping to start annoying you again...maybe I've got my fairy wings back! I need them😊

Hope

What's the one thing that keeps us going? Hope. Hope to pay the bills, hope to find love, hope to have the things we want. Hope. What happens when you lose hope? When you can no longer hope to see a better future, to think that next year will be better than this year?
As you can see I'm not happy, and yes, feeling hopeless. 
It's been a bad year on the farm, every field was flooded for over 2 months when things should have been growing. Instead they were sat drowning.  The 7000 celeriac we planted turned yellow and stopped growing,  the potatoes were sat in thick sludgy mud, we couldn't get on the fields to hoe the weeds away, or make the land ready for the next plants I needed to plant.  So all the brassicas grown in little modules turned yellow and stunted waiting to be planted. When we finally got onto the land and planted everything was late, then it got very hot which made half of the plants instantly go to seed. Fennel, chard, nearly instantly they were useless. The cabbages rotted but it didn't really matter as I couldn't sell them.
Then the courgettes were ready, I think I sold 3 quids worth,  we mainly ate them ourselves.
All this while waiting to see a physio, then waiting to have a scan, then physio again...then waiting to see a consultant,  then another consultant,  then a pre op, to find I had a heart murmur,  now waiting on a scan for that to see if I can have my 22 cm incisional hernia fixed.
I know the only reason the farm continued while dad was alive was because he had his pension to live on. For at least 20 years the farm hasn't had anything invested in it, no new machinery, nothing. We're still using machinery and tractors made in the 1950s and 1960s.  And they all need repair. All.
So, hope. None. There is no place in the modern world for smallholdings like this one. All the rest are gone.
I've cancelled the 3 magazines subscriptions. I've not had my hair cut in a year. I've put off going to the dentist. I've bought 1 new dress, 2 pairs of jeggings and a pair of shorts cos nothing from last summer fits after loosing 2 1/2 stone. I went through my stored clothes to find everything else. (Yes, I store all my old clothes, in different sizes! )
I still wear my 10 yr old overalls for work. I've not bought any Avon. My lovely full shelves are getting empty. My wellies leak.

Do you know what I just did? I went back and read all my old entries. Right from the start. And I did something I've not done in a few months. I lol'd. 
So, if anyone still reads this DO NOT TELL MY MOTHER HOW BAD IT IS!
BBS x maybe

Ello, just letting you know that the wheelbarrowfairy got tired and has hung up her wings, but has transferred her skills here. It's a tadge less personal as it's for the farm!

Sometimes it all seems...

Pointless.  Grinds you down.
Ds was waiting to find out if the charity he was training with got funding so they could actually employ him. Nope. No funding, no job. Bless him he's spent most of his wages from part time job getting there and feeding himself, buying things for them to help out and now that's it. He can't get an apprenticeship as there wasn't enough of them to bother. He's not very happy.
We now have three weeks with no orders. No orders=no money.
Oh took his bill to local garage on day he was told, only to be told sorry he took them this morning, you'll have to wait till I see boss, maybe next week. So no cheque.
So I'm ratty, oh is ratty and so is ds. We're all bouncing off each other.
I said poor ds, oh said he'll have to go get a job. Pot kettle black.
Oh is even rattier as he's now found out alot of bits are missing from car he bough to fix and replace gas guzzler. I say he bought, that's another £880 he owes me. Then he's talking about buying bits for it.  Then today he got a parcel....light bulbs for lava lamp. We stopped using them as they're power thirsty and I refused to have them on. Especially as we also have lamp and fairy lights on too.
He turns things up, I follow behind turning them down. 16 strip lights in his garage.  16. It's not Blackpool.  Compressor that uses over 50p of electric an hour. And a fuffing heater...which he 'borrows' my cooker gas for. Two bottles at nearly £50 a bottle he's 'borrowed'.
I have to face the fact he's useless with money. He doesn't think. Like dad didn't think.
He got asked repeatedly to check oil on ds ped...didn't get round to it, engine ceased, had to be replaced.
A thousand things started and nothing finished.
I spent 200 quid on parts so he could fix ds car. Nope, still in boxes.
Not sold super gas guzzler as sunroof needs fixing...since he bought it 8 months ago.
I'm hacked off as you can tell. All this just before Christmas.  Misery piled on desolation,  sprinkled with hopelessness.
BBS x
I'm so fed up with them, with all of it.

Not having money makes me stroppy, writing my shopping list made me stroppy!
Ok, so we have orders that total £35.
£15 of that is fuel.
Wow, £20 to play with.
So I've raided my pound pot as this is the last delivery before Xmas,  therefore last chance to go to asda till next year.
And dads dog needs food, and cats need food. And we don't need much. Tough if we do.
Don't know if I'll have enough left to get something turkey ish. Can have sausages to make super duper stuffing which we can have in sarnies! 
And right now I'm being serenaded by cheeky girls cheeky Christmas and I want to brain oh with a frying pan!
Stroppy. It doesn't help that it's oh's mate that's left us like this. So its oh's fault through association! 
And he just doesn't seem to understand there's no money. Maybe I should give him the shopping money and say...There you go, two weeks of no orders, three adults, three meals a day, dog and cat food...good luck with that!
I wonder if the electric can be paid for with potatoes...
BBS x

Parcelicious

Grated potatoes rock...latkes this time, with chilli sauce...now those were cheap and cheerful! 
And I gotta mommy parcel! Oooh chocolate chips...vanilla, mint and butterscotch. Her lovely neighbours gave her different flavours to send, how lovely. And my Christmas present...ezi dough...like a hand cranked food processor!  Marvellous!  so I've woken Herman the sourdough up ready to play with my new toy! I was thinking donuts...maybe. so also looking for recipes using the interesting choccy chips...Mommy says she just eats them!
And the other picture is the tin....The tin with £20 left in it. Bugging me!
BBS x

Cinnamony fairy

Well, the house looks like it's Christmas,  dangly ball window is up, we squeezed in a tree, house smells of cinnamon apple loaf, and giant hash brown!
But amongst my friends there's not much spirit left.
One friend is reliant on her daughters wages to be able to eat. Merry Christmas!
One has been waiting 13 weeks with no money for his disability to be sorted. He has no food in cupboards, no leccy in the meter. Making him cakes every week. Joy to the world.
Another friends partner just left her in so much debt she can't afford food. Jingle all the way.
And so it's hard to believe what the politicians keep telling us. Economy getting better,  people better off, what a joke.
We went to the village craft fair this morning, didn't buy anything, mainly because everything I saw I could make! And I don't really have the pennies to spend on tat. No order for tomorrow again. It's dead.
BBS x

Harumph

Ok, how much more does there have to be. Oldest family friend turned up today, eyes red rimmed, his wife went to the doctors and she has a lump. I tried to reassure, and told him if he needs anything, including potatoes fried in bacon grease...His favourite...All he has to do is ask. She's going to hospital next week, he's gonna keep me posted.
BBS. ..Ho hum

Bah cheap mint imperial, can't afford humbugs

Really not enjoying December!  Trucks broken. So no delivering tomorrow. Mind you the orders this week were pathetic, 2 boxes of celeriac, bag of Jerusalem artichokes. £19. £15 of which goes towards diesel. 
Self employed isn't being the pleasure it should be, so no £4 earnt,  seriously.
Other wholesaler also didn't want anything. Zero zero zero.
This week I will earn £3.
Pity I've paid out £1800, and have this month's electric bill to pay.
And as we know oh is nice. Too nice. He hasn't been paid by local garage for last month's work. He told them Monday he wouldn't do more till got cheque...guess what...done 2 more jobs since! Still no cheque!
And he's having to pay for bits to fix truck now too. And using little beetle to run around for garage. Using my petrol.
I'm thinking of going on strike.
When I put the oven on to bake for dinner as we've run out of bread I wondered if I aught to just stick my head in instead. Then I noticed the oven floor had a rust hole in it and went off on a tangent of oh Lord,  don't let that stop working too. 
Think positive. ..
Food to the table, coal to the hearth and love in times of trouble.
Then poor ds came off his ped this morning on ice. All battered and bruised.
Really not having a good week...did I mention I came down with a cold Saturday.  Sinus blocking fun!
BBS. .

Moan moan moan...

I'm sorry...All I ever do is moan...maybe it's because I don't have a proper girly best friend to moan at...so blog is my best friend. ..Therefore you, dear reader, are now my best friend! 
So, I told you about oh's friend...who wouldn't help him back. Well, he was the one who conned oh into buying generator a while back, told him he could pay it back bit by bit...tanner down, tanner a week job. Last week he changed his mind, as I'd sold dad's truck finally. He wanted all of it. £1800 to be precise.  I didn't buy the generator, they purposefully did the deal behind my back. The truck money was supposed to pay for diesel for the tractors, seeds and plants. The money filled my tin.
Now my tin has £20 pounds in it. I told oh how that makes me feel. And he will be feeling it too when we go shopping this week. I know that's mean,  but he needs to THINK!
I hope my veg orders are good this week! Or he can say goodbye to ham rolls.
We live and learn, and we have quite different attitudes to money. I like a cushion!
And I want to $#@#% ¥£#$@ his "friend"!
BBS x

Fairy is feeling grrrrreen

I'm sorry, but I need a vent. A family friend passed away last week. He was 90, farmer, ww2 veteran, all round interesting. His funeral is Thursday in the village. Now fred came down today so I told him, keep in mind he'd known this person easily 40 years, and had been friends with him. Do you know what he said when I told him about the funeral...."I don't think I'll bother". I was gobsmacked, I managed to say really but what can you say when someone can't be bothered to pay their respects at a funeral of a friend.  And yes, he's still coming down, but not as often!
So I've been stroppy...last week oh's friend came down. This is the friend who only ever calls or turns up when he wants something.  A couple of weeks ago oh asked him to go look at a car with him. He hummed and harred and said he was too busy. He doesn't work mind you but he was too busy. So...He turned up last week (when he was supposed to still be busy)...stopped oh working, sidetracked Jones the steam for 4 hours to look at his laptop, took bits off oh's spare land rover,(without offering to pay for them)  wanted heavy duty plastic (and oh gave it to him grrr) then went! If he wasn't oh's best friend I'd have told him to f*$#@#@ off! We've never asked him to help apart from that one time and we got a no. All the time I've known him all he's done is want. Life is too short for toxic relationships, especially whenever he visits or calls I get mad at poor oh, who just gives in to him. He has been the cause of every single argument we've had!
Pah! BBS x hopefully happier!

Jar savers anonymous

It can't just be me who saves jars just in case. I remember great grandmother Gladys always had a stash. Thinking about this today as I was given 2 as of homemade chutney.  And it got me thinking, I know most years I make more preserves than I need, jam, chutney, you name it I've had a go at making it, and I always make more than I can eat in a year, and when I'm really happy with the results I'd love to share them. Maybe I should start a local preserve sharing scheme....
In other news it's advent filling time. As dd didn't return her special advent calender for 4 years now I finally have it back I've turned into mean mummy and won't let her have it this year...so instead she has an advent jar! Just hope it doesn't still pong of the pickled eggs it had in it before!
BBS x

Hiding...

The fairy has been hiding...I know I've been very quiet, I guess I just haven't been feeling very fairy.  So I thought I'd share what we did this halloween.  That's me...anime maid! Ds and beloved too...and my mate☺ 109 trick or treaters!  In memory of my friend. Now just gotta think of what we can do that's bigger and better than a giant spiders Web for next year...I think we spent £8 in total on decorations...It was all sticks and fleece! BBS. ..well ill try x

Leather britches

Well, the plum ish leather is dehydrating happily. Trying it with clingfilm instead of baking parchment this time. I do like a change.
So, bank holiday Monday and it's raining. Every other year we would have gone to gressenhall museum as re-enactors. This year I'm just not feeling like dressing up. Maybe it's down to the rotund tummy after the op, not even sure if my dressing up dresses fit!
I've had a little search and found a pear and raspberry pie recipe, will be giving that a try this week as I have a lot of pears that need to find a use!
BBS x

Plumtastic fairy

Well, there were some green gages left on the tree that I hadn't sold and a few little vics.  And some other tiny plums that I have no idea what they are, add some windfall apples then cook it all up together.  Next I'll zizz it up (after removing all the stones) then it'll be spread in the dehydrator. I have added  little bit of sugar but not too much as it concentrates as it dehydrates.  Ds like plain apple leather so this should give him a flavour  change. Ds is still doing his traineeship. He had a whole week, full time and he was knackered! Bless him:)
And how sad am I...I have been playing Hay day! It's how I wish my Ickle farm was! This little kid inside me would love to have a tea shop...and a sweetie shop! Hey, even at my age I can have dreams s:) mainly because I love sweeties and I really enjoy baking, and eating.
BBS x

Raspberry fairy

Mommy lady sent me a ball canning book. In the book was a recipe for raspberry pie filling.  Trouble is it needed something called clear gel. Mommy bought me some and sent it, all the way from the USA. So this post is a mommy lady thank you:) the raspberry pie filling is incredible,  the clear gel turned it into thick gloop like you get in cans, and I made it using the raspberries I froze earlier in the year. The flavour is phenomenal! The colour is great too! Truely yummy.  By the way if there are a lot of spelling mistakes it's this daft touchscreen keyboard and it's predictive text thing! BBS x

Chilly fairy

I have been a very lax fairy and I'm going to blame getting used to a touchscreen keyboard! Hopefully I have managed to attach a picture of the apples and pears I panic picked last night as the temperature dropped! I woke up at 5th and went out to check the thermometer, down to 5 degrees...brr!  If I get this right I'll show you what I've been canning this time.
BBS x

Fairy flumph

Would you look at my little stall? Full to bursting! I have 2 shiny new customers thanks to facebook...need all the help I can get. I'm understanding why dad stopped doing what he classed as 'tiffles' years ago. Cabbages, sprouts, lettuces, pumpkins, courgettes, beans, beetroot. None of them did dad grow. It was cos whn you do most of it alone its just too much. There are not enough hours in a day! Every moment I'm not picking things I'm hoeing things. then theres the cooking and housework, dog walking and washing. The garden is a mass of weeds :( the dehydrator is up and running as the last of the onions from last year are getting close to going icky. So now I have a very large jar of dried onion :) The grape vine has gone insane again (it must have hated dad keep cutting it back!) and we will have grapes up the yingyang! blackberries already on the bushes...everything is early!

The patty pans have gone insane too! and the bunched carrots are lovely. No ones buying them but they taste lovely! I'm sure everyones gone on holiday. At least my customers have! 
Keep having mini meltdowns...mainly after things have been done by me and no one else...yes, I know, I am the fairy....

(I drew a new wheelbarrow fairy, she's got a bit more attitude!)
Sometimes the fairy gets to the stage where she has had enough. I think its when I've been bitten by bugs, sweated out a gallon, and been nettled on the ankles!! And I can still see another 100 things that need to be done! Is this what it is to be woman? Or fairy?
Hohum...girls night out on friday (sorry Jim!) and hopefully I've persuaded more 'girls' to join us! 
BBS x sorry I've been absent  :-P

Crispy fried fairy

 So...its been jolly hot around here...and would you take a look at my patty pan squash! They are going mad and as I've never grown them before I had no idea what to expect! Next year I'll be prepared to expect ALOT! And as its been so hot I did what mommy used to do..I hoed in sandals...as you can see it gives you a great 'fen tan' on your feet and ankles!

 Then again my hands aren't much better!!!!

 The courgettes are going insane....now that I did expect!

 But they are just so pretty! I've made zucchini bread, but its still cooling. When I cut it I'll show you. Quote of the day comes from OH when he asked what I'd baked, when told courgette cake he said..."I'll not be trying that". Well guess what sweetie, I aint baking anything else till you HAVE tried it!

 Got the old singer out again as I found what appears to be old tablecloth fabric in dads house!

 So I ran up a dress for something to do:) It has now been dyed green, as white is a stain waiting to happen!

 Weeting Rally at the weekend...lots of loading and unloading of tractors and a minor meltdown for me when it finally got to me that dad wasn't there :( He loved the gallopers...and so did I...just ask mommy how much I loved roundabouts as a child!

 And the steam engines were beautiful, some serious shining going on there!

 Alot of tractors and alot of people, even though it was 32 degrees on saturday, least it didn't have too much rain.

 And lastly isn't it funny how you change as you get older. DS had a go on the chairoplanes...when I was young I loved them. But I found myself looking at how they were attached at the top and noticed they just hook on! I am old...next I'll be checking the bolts :)

Life is busy busy...picking, digging, hoeing, friday I'll start bunching, been eating greengages till I actually had to sell them!
BBS x