Pointless. Grinds you down.
Ds was waiting to find out if the charity he was training with got funding so they could actually employ him. Nope. No funding, no job. Bless him he's spent most of his wages from part time job getting there and feeding himself, buying things for them to help out and now that's it. He can't get an apprenticeship as there wasn't enough of them to bother. He's not very happy.
We now have three weeks with no orders. No orders=no money.
Oh took his bill to local garage on day he was told, only to be told sorry he took them this morning, you'll have to wait till I see boss, maybe next week. So no cheque.
So I'm ratty, oh is ratty and so is ds. We're all bouncing off each other.
I said poor ds, oh said he'll have to go get a job. Pot kettle black.
Oh is even rattier as he's now found out alot of bits are missing from car he bough to fix and replace gas guzzler. I say he bought, that's another £880 he owes me. Then he's talking about buying bits for it. Then today he got a parcel....light bulbs for lava lamp. We stopped using them as they're power thirsty and I refused to have them on. Especially as we also have lamp and fairy lights on too.
He turns things up, I follow behind turning them down. 16 strip lights in his garage. 16. It's not Blackpool. Compressor that uses over 50p of electric an hour. And a fuffing heater...which he 'borrows' my cooker gas for. Two bottles at nearly £50 a bottle he's 'borrowed'.
I have to face the fact he's useless with money. He doesn't think. Like dad didn't think.
He got asked repeatedly to check oil on ds ped...didn't get round to it, engine ceased, had to be replaced.
A thousand things started and nothing finished.
I spent 200 quid on parts so he could fix ds car. Nope, still in boxes.
Not sold super gas guzzler as sunroof needs fixing...since he bought it 8 months ago.
I'm hacked off as you can tell. All this just before Christmas. Misery piled on desolation, sprinkled with hopelessness.
BBS x
I'm so fed up with them, with all of it.
Saturday 20 December 2014
Sometimes it all seems...
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*hugs*
ReplyDeleteTa x
ReplyDeleteI know it feels like life is pouring shit on you from a great height at the moment (because it is) and I don't have any magic words to make it better. But... you will move through it and come out on the other side. You're a strong and resourceful woman. Perhaps you don't want to be strong and resourceful AGAIN because that's what you always have to be, but you can. Focus on the good things. When I get pissed or feel frustrated I often write letters. I don't always deliver them, but I put everything down on paper because that's the best way to ensure that I get my frustrations out thoroughly (people have a habit of walking off when you start shouting at them, or interrupting) and make sure my arguments are expressed clearly. The process is more important than the result, but it can be revelatory to hand them over, because the other person may really not understand how hurtful and annoying they are being, and can’t claim they didn’t realize how you were feeling. At least with a letter they know what they're doing and how much it affects you. The same works for good things - write your son a letter and let him know how proud you are of all his efforts to find work. It sounds to me, sticking my oar in, that it's time for your partner to be self-sufficient. He has the parts to fix some thing up, and can then sell those and use the money to fix other things up, buy his own gas tanks and pay for his 'autoshop' costs. And until he does that he can wear an extra sweater and fingerless gloves while he works. he has to finish projects and to motivate him you're going to start charging him for everything he uses, and will no longer act as his unlimited cash machine. He must take what you've invested in his business, and start turning it into profit. That's being firm but fair - New Year, new Fairer Fairy (as in fairer to you!). I hope the above helps but even if it doesn't, rest assured there are people out in
ReplyDeleteThanks for that x money is the thing I find hardest to talk about because I get so upset! But he has paid back a teeny bit now, it's a start. X
ReplyDelete